Having crushes, asking people out on dates, and going on first dates are a huge adrenaline rush. They're also things that can produce a lot of anxiety for teens. Learn how to feel more comfortable around your crush and how to get the courage to make a first date happen with these teen dating tips.
Finding Someone To Date
If you want to start dating, you've got to meet somebody you're interested in spending time with one-on-one. Lucky for you, Teen Advice has loads of tips on how to meet people you might be interested in dating.
Knowing If Someone Likes You
When you have a crush on somebody, it's often hard to tell if they like you in a romantic way, a just-friends way, or not at all. Here are some ways to know if that special somebody likes you in a romantic way.
Asking Someone on a Date
Asking someone on a date takes a lot of courage and the ability to stay calm. These tips on asking out your crush are designed with these facts in mind -- and lots of tried-and-true advice from teen love experts.
Making a Great First Impression
When you go on that first date with someone -- even if you've known them for a while -- you want to sweep them off their feet with your charm, class, and charisma. Find out how it's done with these tips on how to make a great first impression.
Staying Safe on First Dates and Beyond
It's easy to get so caught up in chasing your crush that you don't look out for your safety. Learn how to protect yourself from date rape, relationship violence, and other unsafe dating situations with these tips.
Coping with Unrequited Love
In a perfect world, we'd all be able to date exactly who we want all of the time. Unfortunately, we live in an imperfect world where hearts get broken every day. One of the worst types of heartbreak involves loving somebody who doesn't love you back, otherwise known as unrequited love. Find out how to cope with it and move on with your life with these tips.
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One of the components of the reproductive health bill officially titled as "Reproductive Health and Population Development Act of 2008" is mandatory reproductive health education, an euphemistic term for sex education. While the Bill tasks the Popcom and the Department of Education to craft the curriculum for this, it specifically requires the teaching of population and development concepts plus the following: "Reproductive health and sexual rights; reproductive health care and services; attitudes, beliefs and values on sexual development, sexual behavior, and sexual health; proscription and hazards of abortion and management of post-abortion complications; responsible parenthood; use and application of natural and modern family planning methods to promote reproductive health and achieve desired family size and prevent unwanted, unplanned and mistimed pregnancies; abstinence before marriage; prevention and treatment of HIV/AIDS and others, responsible sexuality; and maternal, pre-natal and post-natal education, care and services."
From such a broad range of subjects one can see that the bias of these sex education imperatives is on population control disguised under concerns on sexual rights, reproductive health care, and sexual health. But are these subjects appropriate for children aged 10 to 15? Do we expect our children to be sexually active within this age range?
By nature Filipino children are not yet sexually mature during their high school years. Awareness of sex may be starting to develop but a stable boy-girl relationship is an exceptional occurrence among them. Hence, it is too early for them to be discussing reproductive health, much less sexual rights, in the class.
A woman's health relative to her capacity to reproduce or bear children inevitably involves discussions on the clinical aspects of conception including the nature and function of the ovum and how it can be fertilized by a sperm cell. But this cannot be understood without pointing out how the sperm is transmitted, so the teacher cannot help out discuss also the sexual act itself. And if the teacher uses a visual device, imagine her showing a picture of a man and a woman in the act of sexual union. This scenario may seem an exaggeration, but it can happen because one cannot just talk of the birds and the bees when discussing the reproductive process and its implication to one's health.
Now, if you are the parent of a 14 or 13-year-old child or younger, would you allow the latter to be exposed to this kind of school lesson? Lurking at the back of your mind, I'm sure, is the fear that your child, unprepared as he is to talk about sex (since in our societal mores and tradition he or she is too young for it) may acquire a wrong notion about sex and sexuality. I'm sure too that when it comes to such subjects you would rather handle the learning process yourself because you know your child better than anyone else and therefore you can adjust your lesson to his or her maturity level.
In addition to sexual behavior and sexual health, the matter of family planning is also to be taught among others, "to achieve desired family size and prevent unwanted, unplanned and mistimed pregnancies". Under this topic are such subjects as natural and artificial methods of controlling birth, which means that the teacher will have to show how such methods are applied and in the process teach the details of each.
When for instance the teacher takes up the artificial means of controlling birth, it is necessary for her to discuss the details of, among others, vasectomy, ligation, the use if IUD, birth control pills, etc., otherwise she cannot be understood. Of course, as she does so she has to show an illustration of a woman's sex organ and how these contraceptive devices function. This, again is too lurid for adolescents to take without being scandalized. But the greater danger is giving young boys and girls an idea of how to do sex and get away with it. This would encourage sexual fixation among adolescence, a tendency which could later translate into an urge towards active sex life sans marriage.
To go back to the menu of topics on sex education under this Bill, where's the one that pertains to respect and observance of the Christian ethos on sex and sexuality? The Church teaches that sex is for married people only and that its functions are both unitive and procreative. But the framers of this Bill have conveniently forgotten this. Is this legislation for the 85 million Christian Filipinos?
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Just about every guy wonders how he measures up in the "down-there" department at one time or another. Here's the lowdown for any guy who's ever worried about whether his penis is a normal size.
There's a fairly wide range of normal penis sizes — just as there is for every other body part. And just like other parts of the body, how a penis appears at different stages of a guy's life varies quite a bit. You wouldn't expect someone who is 11 years old to look the same as someone who's 19.
Guys normally develop at different times. Some may start developing as early as 9. Others may not start developing until 15 or even later. The age at which a guy starts to grow varies from person to person. It all depends on when he enters puberty and his hormones start doing their thing.
Growth in penis size is just one part of puberty, which also includes such changes as pubic hair development, testicular growth, muscle development, and a growth spurt. Late starters almost always catch up fine — they just reach full maturity a little later.
Penises come in different sizes, shapes, and colors. These traits are hereditary, like eye color or foot size, and there's nothing you can do to change them. Despite what you may hear or read, no special exercises, supplements, or diets will speed up the development process or change a guy's size. Also, like his feet, a guy's penis may appear smaller to him just because the perspective is different when he's looking down. And there's a lot less difference in penis size between guys when they get an erection (a "boner" or "hard on") than when their penises are relaxed.
In addition to size, guys also wonder about other aspects of how their penises look, such as whether the skin covering the penis is normal or if it's OK for a guy's penis to hang to the left or right (it is!). If you're concerned about how your penis looks, ask your doctor. Guys who are reaching puberty should have regular testicular exams, so that's a good time to ask your doctor any questions.
Taking a ride on the hormonal roller-coaster means lots of changes — and a lot of common worries — for both guys and girls. Just as guys may wonder about how their penises develop, lots of girls ask the same thing about their breasts.
If you're wondering about your development, don't try to compare yourself to your older brother or your best friend — they're probably at a different stage of development than you are anyway. The important thing to remember is that it's OK to not be a mirror image of the guy at the next urinal.
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It's a natural part of life to have sexual feelings. As people pass from childhood, through adolescence, to adulthood, their sexual feelings develop and change.
Adolescence Is a Time of Change
During the teen years, sexual feelings are awakened in new ways because of the hormonal and physical changes of puberty. These changes involve both the body and the mind, and teens may wonder about new — and often intense — sexual feelings.
It takes time for many people to understand who they are and who they're becoming. Part of that understanding includes a person's sexual feelings and attractions.
The term sexual orientation refers to the gender (that is, male or female) to which a person is attracted. There are several types of sexual orientation that are commonly described:
Heterosexual. People who are heterosexual are romantically and physically attracted to members of the opposite sex: Heterosexual males are attracted to females, and heterosexual females are attracted to males. Heterosexuals are sometimes called "straight."
Homosexual. People who are homosexual are romantically and physically attracted to people of the same sex: Females who are attracted to other females are lesbian; males who are attracted to other males are often known as gay. (The term gay is sometimes also used to describe homosexual individuals of either gender.)
Bisexual. People who are bisexual are romantically and physically attracted to members of both sexes.
Teens — both guys and girls — often find themselves having sexual thoughts and attractions. For some, these feelings and thoughts can be intense — and even confusing or disturbing. That may be especially true for people who are having romantic or sexual thoughts about someone who is the same sex they are. "What does that mean," they might think. "Am I gay?"
Thinking sexually about both the same sex and the opposite sex is quite common as people sort through their emerging sexual feelings. This type of imagining about people of the same or opposite sex doesn't necessarily mean that a person fits into a particular type of sexual orientation.
Some teens may also experiment with sexual experiences, including those with members of the same sex, during the years they are exploring their own sexuality. These experiences, by themselves, do not necessarily mean that a person is gay or straight.
Do People Choose Their Sexual Orientation?
Most medical professionals, including organizations such as the AmericanAcademy of Pediatrics and the American Psychological Association, believe that sexual orientation involves a complex mixture of biology, psychology, and environmental factors. A person's genes and inborn hormonal factors may play a role as well. These medical professionals believe that — in most cases — sexual orientation, whatever its causes, is not simply chosen.
Not everyone agrees. Some believe that individuals can choose who they are attracted to — and that people who are gay have chosen to be attracted to people of the same gender. No matter what someone's sexual orientation is, in some cases it may be affected by the life experiences that person has had.
There are lots of opinions and stereotypes about sexual orientation, though, and some of these can be hurtful to people of all orientations. For example, having a more "feminine" appearance or interest does not mean that a guy is gay. And having a more "masculine" appearance doesn't mean a girl is lesbian. As with most things, making assumptions just based on looks can lead to the wrong conclusion.
What's It Like for Gay Teens?
For many people who are gay or lesbian, it can feel like everyone is expected to be straight. Because of this, some gay and lesbian teens may feel different from their friends when the heterosexual people around them start talking about romantic feelings, dating, and sex. They may feel like they have to pretend to feel things that they don't in order to fit. They might feel they need to deny who they are or that they have to hide an important part of themselves.
These feelings, plus fears of prejudice, can lead people who aren't straight to keep their sexual orientation secret, even from friends and family who might be supportive.
Some gay or lesbian teens tell a few accepting, supportive friends and family members about their sexual orientation. This is often called coming out.
Many lesbian, gay, and bisexual teens who come out to their friends and families are fully accepted by them and their communities. They feel comfortable about being attracted to someone of the same gender and don't feel anxious about it.
But not everyone has the same feelings or good support systems. People who feel they need to hide who they are or who fear rejection, discrimination, or violence can be at greater risk for emotional problems like anxiety and depression.
Some gay teens without support systems can be at higher risk than heterosexual teens for dropping out of school, living on the streets, using alcohol and drugs, and even in some cases for attempting to harm themselves.
These difficulties are thought to happen more frequently not directly because they are gay, but because gay and lesbian people are more likely to be misunderstood, socially isolated, or mistreated because of their sexual orientation.
This doesn't happen to all gay teens, of course. Many gay and lesbian teens and their families have no more difficulties during the teen years than anyone else.
The Importance of Talking
No matter what someone's sexual orientation is, learning about sexuality and relationships can be difficult. It can help to talk to someone about the confusing feelings that go with growing up, perhaps a parent or other family member, a close friend or sibling, or a school counselor. It's not always easy to find somebody to talk to, but many people find that confiding in someone they trust and feel close to, even if they're not completely sure how that person will react, turns out to be a positive experience.
In many communities, resources such as youth groups composed of teens who are facing similar issues can provide opportunities for people to talk to others who understand. Psychologists, psychiatrists, family doctors, and trained counselors can help teens cope — confidentially and privately — with the difficult feelings that go with their developing sexuality. These experts can also help teens to find ways to deal with any peer pressure, harassment, and bullying they may face.
Whether gay, straight, bisexual, or just not sure, almost all teens have questions about physically maturing and about sexual health (for example, avoiding STDs). It's important to find a doctor or health professional to discuss these issues with — someone who can provide reliable health advice.
Although sexual feelings and behavior are important parts of human development, there are still many unanswered questions about human sexuality. Researchers are constantly learning new information, and undoubtedly people will know more about sexual orientation in the coming years.
